Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
