Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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