WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
