He had one of those small greek statue penises
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
