Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
