We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
