How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
