the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
