Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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