went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
