I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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