corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
