I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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