Having a random hookup so left but love u
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize