Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
