Where is the hickey?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
