I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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