i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
