One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
