I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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