3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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