I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
