You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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