When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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