I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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