I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
this is an emotional support booty call
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
