Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's shark week go big or go home
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
