he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
