Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
