Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
