Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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