I think my vagina is haunted
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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