If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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