are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
