that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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