five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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