Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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