worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
