he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
