maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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