Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
