Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
