Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
