The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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