I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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