You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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