I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
