you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
