and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
