My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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