What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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