My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I pour the whiskey from now on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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