I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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