omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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