ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
