K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
