So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
pop tarts are not kleenex
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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