I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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