I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
