I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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