Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
