belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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