Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
