YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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