Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
