there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
