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Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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