Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
