Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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